just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
