the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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