i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
