and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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