She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
