why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
