So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
