i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
