I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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