stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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