If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
