I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wish you could order shots online.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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