It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
