Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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