I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
