I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
