Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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