You're completely useless in the revolution.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
