Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Life is so much better after having sex.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
