it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Randomize
