Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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