I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So much Jack, so little girl.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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