UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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