You're completely useless in the revolution.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
