MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
