Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize