Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
