i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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