I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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