so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
