someone owes me an orgasm
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
