Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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