Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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