Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
