I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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