they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
