so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
