I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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