Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
