First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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