can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
