a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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