I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
