I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
