If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
