Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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