I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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