Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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