you turned your livingroom into a bong?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
