i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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