I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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