My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
